My heart sunk to my stomach at the impact. Blood pumped in my ears so loud I couldn’t hear the thump of the music blasting through the car’s speakers. I kept my hands tight on the wheel, but I couldn’t feel them. I couldn’t feel my whole body, for that matter. Overwhelmed by guilt, I looked in the rear view mirror and saw the body roll on the pavement, a confirmation that there was nothing else I could do. At least not to save a life.

I was consumed by grief. And shame. I had taken a life. The fist in my stomach remained as I drove away from the crime scene. I tried to convince myself that I couldn’t have changed what happened without causing a bigger tragedy, without swerving on the road and ending up in someone’s living room. Although logic spoke to me, my heart still ached. In fact, although it’s been weeks since that fatidic Saturday morning, it still does. I doubt I’ll ever forget it and hope it will never happen again. I also hope you will never have to experience the same pain. I don’t think I can bear to go through another squirrelcide.

Have you been in the same situation? Did you feel as bad as I do? Share your story with us.